At my age, my father studied electrical engineering alongside another science discipline that he would rather not mention, though I suspect it was mathematics. Known for making decisions guided by his heart, especially his unconditional love for my mother, he never completed his studies, nor his side quest of being my father. Instead, he lingered on the “what-ifs” of the programming world and committed himself to becoming a skilled handyman—a path that only reinforced how great of an engineer he truly was.

The last time I saw him, he was modifying his PlayStation remote to control the technology in his house - likely a gimmicky product he had been misled into buying online. See, people like my old man are a scammer’s Silicon Valley, and others often prefer to label them the ‘stupid’ crowd. But I don’t believe anyone is born stupid; it takes significant effort to confine a human mind that way. As my old man always reminded me: as long as you are alive and your brain is active, you can never be stupid. My dad has a peculiar way of dealing with strangers: (i) one’s intent does not depend on how they look or dress, and (ii) your previous encounters don't influence your next assumption, like a memoryless machine. In simple terms, regardless of everything, always believe in the good in people. Despite how life works, my dad will always be the greatest engineer I know.

Of course, a man's tale is incomplete without his muse: my mother. Making choices based on her gut and the immediate utility of happiness was her strength. At first glance, her actions may seem psychotic, but if you were in her shoes and believed that anyone's life is guaranteed to end at the highest utility value, then surely boredom would drive you to do the same. One fine detail she missed, though, was that it is the little things in life that matter. That said, the resulting utility may only be optimal relative to the actions you chose throughout your life, so if you compared your life to an alternate one of better decisions, your current life's utility might be worthless. Regardless, her confidence in letting all earthly matters trail the paths of her intuition is a skill most men can only dream of.

Both of my role models may biologically embody Yin and Yang, but their minds tell a different story: there's not enough Yang. The corruption they left behind has led me to prioritise logic and the masculine aspects of life, to the extent that I’ve become the Yang they were missing.

As I continue to learn, I realise that my goals in programming and mathematics can only be achieved by embracing both Yin and Yang. This is challenging, because the only memories that resonate with Yin came from my role models, while my understanding of Yang is rooted in my own trial and error.

Do not live for money; live with passion instead. But do not ever love anything as much as Nikola Tesla did.

- my old man